30 Gems of Wisdom by Yours Truly

Or as my bestie likes to call it, Jems by Jenn.

I believe each person has a unique quality that makes them special. We all have a gift, talent, or something we’re either naturally good at or known for. For instance, when I look at the people in my close circle, I’m lucky that their best qualities make up an assortment of roles that enrich my life: the mom friend, the planner friend, the fashionable friend, the life of the party friend, the jokester friend, and the chill friend. I’m the therapist friend.

Since I was a kid, I’ve been the go-to for seeking advice among everyone I know. I guess you can say I’m an old soul. My dad always jokes that I’m the family therapist, always having the ability to connect with people on a deep, emotional level and make them feel better with my advice. While I was designated that role a little too young, I must admit, I’ve always enjoyed helping others. It makes me feel important and like I’m making a difference. And it’s a great feeling when people ask me for my advice. In some ways, it’s why I’m a writer.

Inspired by Alexa Chung’s “40 Pearls of Wisdom With Vogue,” I came up with my version: “30 Gems of Wisdom by Yours Truly.” (FYI: one of my best friends refers to my advice as Jems by Jenn, so shout-out to her.)

Keep scrolling for my 30 jems gems of wisdom.

1. Delusion is healthy when used correctly. Being delusional can help build confidence and be beneficial when achieving your goals.

2. Don’t sleep on manifestation. Your thoughts are super powerful. Whatever that thing is, act like it’s already yours. For instance, in the past, there was a job I wanted and it was at one of my dream companies, so after applying, I wrote a lengthy Instagram caption in my Notes App, acting as if I had already gotten a job offer. I would read the fictional caption/job annoucement to myself aloud every night and trick my mind into believing this was my reality. Two months later, I got an offer. This is a great example of how being delusional works. Some people manifest with vision boards, journaling, or simply imagining it. Find what works best for you, and do it.

3. Find your signature scent. An important part of womanhood or manhood is finding your signature perfume or cologne. Smelling good is attractive and when you have a specific scent that you always use, you’re likely to be remembered in a more positive light — by your ex, your friends, and strangers walking down the street.

4. For me, a simple but effective way to live your best life is practicing the three H’s: Looking hot, being healthy, and feeling happy. Looking hot: take care of your appearance, whether that means dressing well and/or getting in shape. Being healthy: Take care of your mind, body, and soul. Feeling happy: Don’t forget to laugh, have fun, and do things that fulfill you.

5. Don’t date people who never read. People who never read are major red flags. Those who read are more inclined to expand their minds and grow, are great conversationalists, and have better mental discipline.

6. Surround yourself with people who genuinely like themselves. If they like themselves, there will be no room for envy or hate. They won’t be intimidated or threatened by your happiness or success. Therefore, their support for you will be authentic, and those are the people worth having in your circle.

7. Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes to others’ highlight reels. Remember, what you see on social media isn’t the full reality of someone’s life. Even Beyoncé has breakdowns, I’m sure.

8. Stealing this one from Alexa, who stole it from Baz Luhrmann: Always wear sunscreen.

9. Don’t play Elvis Crespo’s “Suavemente” if you want to keep the party going. It’s the Nickleback of the Latinx/Hispanic community. I learned that the hard way.

10. Have a skincare routine. Ladies, your skin will love you for it. Men, the ladies will love you for it.

11. If you’re having trouble in your life, try therapy. I’ve always thought people who go to therapy are the hottest because it shows signs of emotional intelligence. Like ooh, you’re capable of asking for help and putting in effort to work through your traumas? That’s hot. *Paris Hilton voice.* When you’re a healthy adult, this becomes a nonsexual kink in a romantic partner.

12. If you’re walking in front of someone and you’re about to enter a place, just hold the door for them. Don’t be an asshole.

13. Bad habits like smoking cigarettes aren’t cute or cool. No one likes kissing someone with cigarette breath.

14. If he doesn't care if you finish, he’s not the one.

15. Do something that scares you often. If you’re not risking your life or causing anyone harm, just do it. Happiness and growth are on the other side of fear.

16. Practice daily affirmations aloud to build confidence. For me, I went from being super insecure to super confident by practicing daily affirmations in front of the mirror. So now, I know I’m that bitch, and so are you. Act like it.

17. Journal. I’ve been journaling since I was 10. Anyone who knows me will probably say I have a freakishly good memory and I think I owe it to two things: never smoking weed and always journaling. Journaling is great when you need to vent. It helps you work through your problems without having to overshare with people and it’s fun to reflect and learn from yourself when you read it later on.

18. There is no such thing as an ugly person. Some people just don’t take care of themselves the way they should or simply haven’t reached their full potential.

19. Moms know best. Always. About everything. Except maybe when it comes to credible online sources and WhatsApp scams.

20. The best dating advice my father ever gave me was when I was 17, heartbroken for the first time. He said, “If a man truly wants you, you’ll never have to wonder.” He’s never been wrong about that.

21. Everything in life is a game: dating, business, career, etc. The sooner you accept it and learn how to play, the sooner you’ll win.

22. On that note, ladies, please read Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov.

23. Learn to love what happens to you — the good, the bad, and the in-between — A.K.A. amor fati. Amor fati is a Latin phrase, which translates to “love of one’s fate.” The stoic principle suggests that if we can embrace our fate, we can understand why the occurrences were necessary; everything happens for a reason.

24. When I need motivation for anything, I watch videos of Kobe Bryant. 10/10 would recommend. Mamba Mentality all the way.

25. Always keep an emergency bag in your car. In mine, I keep a mini first aid kit, extra clothes, a pair of flip-flops, paper towels, pads, and water bottles. It may be useful during an emergency or an unexpected sleepover.

26. Make playlists for every mood — for yourself, your friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s romantic. Also, can we please bring back handwritten notes and letters?

27. For the love of grammar and me, please learn the difference between you’re, your, there, their, they’re, and my personal favorite: dam and damn.

28. It’s never too late to start something new or reinvent yourself.

29. The 1975 said it best in “The City”: “Get in the shower if it all goes wrong.”

30. Whenever you’re faced with a big decision, ask yourself: How would your 8-year-old self and 80-year-old self feel about this?

31. Bonus: Always aim to be kinder than you feel — to yourself and others. Karma is real and what you put out to the universe will always come back to you.

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