Social Media Isn't Corrupting Us — Your Lack of Discipline Is
Balance and discipline go hand in hand here.
I’ve always blamed social media and the internet for the way society has detrimentally changed in the last decade or so. Though meant to bring us closer, ironically, sometimes it feels like the online world causes so much division and unnecessary issues, creating anxiety and affecting our mental health. However, my thoughts on this have recently changed.
It’s easy to blame social media for many of society’s problems, especially when life seemed simpler and better before the internet took over. For instance, when it comes to dating, being actively online makes us believe we have unlimited options to a degree. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. DM. DM. DM. Even cheating feels like it’s so much more common now. I can’t tell you how many times my friends and I have conversations about married men “liking” what we consider to be sexy or inappropriate photos of other women, or men who are in committed relationships sliding into the DMs to flirt. Before the internet, if a man wanted to cheat on his wife, he had to make more of an effort. He’d have to go out in person. Now, he could simply unlock his phone and with a few swipes gain access to a roster of women at his disposal because this new reality has made it easier to objectify several people at once.
Then, there’s the amount of violence we’re exposed to. I remember when I was a kid, the older women in my family would worry and make a fuss anytime they heard about a tragedy on the 6 o’clock news. Now we have the “news” 24/7 on our phones, and that shouldn’t be normal because it isn’t healthy. Maybe the world back then was as shitty as it is now, but we just didn’t know it because we weren’t exposed to so much. Sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.
Social media has made it challenging to obtain genuine human connections. For example, texting someone you like often can make you feel like you’re close, but in reality, it creates a false sense of intimacy, especially if they make no real effort to see you in person. This also makes it easier to neglect the people we have in our vicinity. We’re always glued to our phones, sometimes forgetting there is a person in front of us who deserves our undivided attention.
The COVID-19 lockdown made it tougher. During a scary time when things felt so unpredictable, we turned to social media for community. After the world shut down, many of us found solace in connecting with friends and strangers online. Since then, I’ve discovered that a great deal of people lack strong in-person communication skills. Many have become much more reserved and socially awkward since the pandemic, especially younger generations.
On the other hand, the internet can be so beneficial. We’re able to stay in touch with family who live far away, and thanks to video calls, long-distance relationships have a better chance of working. Because of the internet and online platforms, we’ve been able to further our education and careers. We have so many resources online compared to when students only had old textbooks and libraries to rely on. Networking is also a lot easier today.
So what’s the solution? True growth begins by looking inward and letting go of the habit of blaming external factors. Finding a balance and practicing discipline is pivotal, which is something I started to do.
In September, I looked up the “time spent” tab in my Instagram settings. I was astonished to find out there was a day I spent 15 hours on the app. I saw it as a wake-up call because I realized I was addicted to IG. For someone whose career relies heavily on the internet, it’s sometimes difficult to disconnect. As a journalist, staying informed about current events is necessary. It’s also something I enjoy because I love pop culture. However, too much of anything is bad.
So after that wake-up call, I decided I would take a break from Instagram. I remember telling my friend about how I was going to test myself and see if I could stay off the app completely for a few days at the very least. She praised me, telling me that she probably wouldn’t be able to do it herself. It made me feel less alone, but I also realized that this is a common issue, and it shouldn’t be. Maybe you’re addicted to Instagram. Maybe you’re not. Maybe it’s another app. Maybe you feel anxious without being near your phone at various hours of the day. Maybe you’re unfaithful and downplay it because it’s social media. Maybe you’re desperately looking for a connection online. I think we all have our problems with social media because it’s everywhere. But I do believe it is possible to find a happy middle.
I took an Instagram break for three weeks. I deleted the app from my phone, making sure I wouldn’t be tempted. During the first few days, I had withdrawals. I felt like I had FOMO (fear of missing out), but then I realized those who are most important to me have my number and can always reach out and vice versa. As the days passed, I started to feel better. My anxiety lessened. For those few weeks, I felt free. Not posting what I was up to and not seeing anyone else’s whereabouts was liberating. I was living solely for myself, not for external validation, which is something I had never previously taken into account that I could subconsciously be doing. I began to feel proud because I was able to prove to myself that I was capable of being offline and spending more time doing productive things that brought me joy, such as bonding with my niece and getting back to reading physical books.
During this time, a few of my friends, who didn’t know I was taking a break, checked up on me to make sure I was OK. I post Instagram Stories often, so I imagine they were concerned since I was completely off the radar. I was planning to stay off Instagram for much longer, but then Liam Payne unexpectedly died, and as a huge One Direction fan, I wanted to stay informed and mourn online with other fans, so I redownloaded the app. I felt refreshed coming back, and ever since, I’ve been intentional about not spending too much time on social media.
My IG break made me think back to a time when social networks were first becoming popular. From 2006 to 2008, MySpace was in its prime. We’d rush to our computers after school to check for new messages and friend requests. Then we’d turn our computers off, and go do something elsewhere. Not having 24/7 access to our social accounts made every online interaction more exciting. We also spent more time outside, away from technology. We need more of that today. And the thing is that we can have it. We just have to be purposeful about it. It’s why “dumb phones” seem to be making a comeback.
This experience taught me that discipline is important for our mental health. Social media isn’t the problem — we are. The internet can be great or terrible, but it all depends on how you use it and how often. I think social media makes us forget that we have free will. You have the choice to simply disconnect — literally. Like everything else in life, social media should be consumed in moderation and with intentionality, not for things that will cause harm or slow down productivity. I love social media as it can be fun. I still post often, but I no longer feel attached to any app. And that’s why I appreciate social media detoxes so much now.
Since my Instagram break, I’ve been challenging myself to be disciplined in different areas of my life, and I’ve been succeeding at it, which makes me feel happy and mentally stronger. I’ve made it a priority to show up more for myself when it comes to working out, reading, journaling, and being more present in real life. So, if you have a similar issue, I urge you to reflect and maybe do the same.
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